Dear Mother-in-law

Thankyou so much for your call this morning and your rude sarcastic tone when I informed you that no, your son was not at home mis-spending his time with me but out working in the cyclonic wind and pouring rain. Your assertion that you would call him on his mobile(to check if I was telling the truth) shows again your complete understanding of his busy schedule and your naturally kind and thoughful nature. Your continued consideration of his health and happiness was again evident when you did not bother to enquire as to how he was or whether he indeed had any time to take your long and self-serving call. Your insistance that you will attend the State of Origin match with my husband's infirm father is interesting when in the very next breath you proceed to damn, detest and deride him. This is especially so when you have repeatedly stated over the years that no-one would drag you to watch such a pointless revolting game, as "My time is rather more valuable to me that that!". This decision to attend is also despite your clear knowledge of the thrill it would give my husband to go, especially given that it is his blood relative(not yours) who is likely to be honoured at this match. My husband's phonecall to me, following yours to him, was again filled with the choking pain you always leave him in. I hope you enjoyed your morning of spreading spite and poison and look forward to your continued complaints against my son for his not doing enough jobs around the house for you, kissing your putrid feet nor being the fictitional totally unrealistic son that you think you wanted him to be. Evidently, the indesputible fact that you are the mother of a truly beautiful person has escaped you yet again and any small showing of a mother's love and kindness is beyond you. I can only thank you now for the vitriol you spat at me when first, in 1988, you backed me into a corner in your hallway, stabbed me in the breast with your pointed finger and told me that I was NOT the daughter-in-law you wanted. Indeed I would likely detest myself if I WERE the type of person that somebody like you did approve of so you will understand my thankfulness in this matter is heartfelt. Coincidentally you nor are you the Mother-in-law that I hoped for! I also appreciate your advice at the time that your son was a horrible person and why anyone would want to marry such a dreadfully disagreeable, drug addled dropout was completely beyond your comprehension. It seems that despite your oft touted law degree and constant air of superior intelligence, many things are. I will also take this opportunity to thank you for your part in creating the sensitive and well adjusted man my husband is now. That you have reached this pinnacle of achievement through cruelty, selfishness and downright evil has only served to ensure that your son is the complete opposite of you. His lifelong battle to break away from everything you are, has been a constant torture and the pain and guilt he feels now in acknowledging his rejection of you, is in contrast to your complete lack of regret at past horrors or consideration for anyone other than yourself. Another aspect for which I am eternally grateful to you is the luxury that I have of blaming every one of his small and insignificant faults and every one of the equally insigificant hiccups within our marriage entirely on you. Any disagreement that we have are obviously again the result of his rebellion against you. His refusal to put the toilet seat down is your fault, as is his occasional excessive alcohol consumption and his sometimes mildly irritating passion for football. I am left in no doubt as to your culpability for any actions he has taken over the years which have been in any way cold or remote or have shown any disrespect to women. You must be so proud. Clearly I have much to be thankful for. It is a shame that you too cannot be thankful he is not like you, for if he were I can only imagine the fireworks as the two of your fought to force your will upon each other. So I will thank you again for your phonecall. I appreciate these calls, seldom and succinct as they may be, as they serve only to remind me of all that I must be truly grateful for. Your one and only... daughter-in-law, Alice. Apologies for the long and poorly structured sentences, anger doesn't like to spell-check.

Evil , insanity and why we should move to the other side of the world.

Dear Mother and Father-in-Law, I can truly say from the deepest part of my soul that I think the two of you are the most revolting despicable people on earth. The manner in which you have treated all five of the poor souls who have had the misfortune to call themselves your children makes me want to vomit in your faces. From your decision to abandon two of your disabled children one as a baby and the other as a toddler, to care facilities while you lied to your remaining children and for all intents and purposes pretended the other two did not exist sickens me beyond belief. Although in the past I have had great sympathy for you and have tried my best to be understanding as to the reason for your decisions, I now find, given the clear picture you are now giving of the true state of your hearts, that you do not deserve my sympathy nor my understanding. Your two sons are both wonderful people but you seem unable to see this and instead are determined to cause them as much pain and agony as you can as you constantly deride them and express your dissapointment in them for not fullfilling some completely unrealistic ideal of what your warped minds think your sons should have become. That you somehow believe, after all of this, that your sons, in any way, owe YOU respect is beyond me when you have never shown either of them one iota of respect in their entire lives. Then there's your poor adopted daughter. The poor girl must ask herself what on earth she did to have been cursed with such unbelievably evil and incapable parents. Surely the world could have found her a normal family as not only does she have to now endure the knowledge that her real mother was unable to care for her for whatever reason but also that she was supposed to be some perfect substitiute for the imperfect children that you did not want and that anything less than perfection from her would never be tolerated. You both make me sick and I truly hope I never again for all eternity have the misfortune to be in your company. The words in the letter that my husband received from you today were beyond belief. You most definitely do not deserve him as a son and your greatest fear that we might "keep the children from you" is now about to become a most definite reality. Unlike your children, my children absolutely adore their father and unlike you he respects them and he deserves their adoration. Your EVIL* daughter-in-law Alice *I feel poisoned right now, my heart feels black and hollow and it sickens me. That the actions of these people make me feel emotions that are as evil and sick as them sickens me, I have to write all this anger down because I feel that if I don't put it somewhere it will overtake me and I will do or say something that I will regret.