Another World

She is in another world, my daughter, she looks at me with hatred and I can see no compassion in her eyes. She says she wishes I were dead. I try to smile and move through the day being warm to everybody, when inside I am crumpled and dying. I don't know what to do anymore, I thought I was doing the right thing being angry at her for breaking the law, but it does not feel right at all. Outside it is like any other day, the sun is shining and the birds are singing, but inside it feels like the world is ending.

Byron cafe puppy

We sat in the sun this morning with my son's excited chatter and we drank good coffee and ate bagels and jam and listened to the jangle of people being happy & sad and chatty & quiet and interesting & boring. The waiter had shaved his head but as he stood looking down at us to take our order, the sun at his back formed a halo around him and an abundance of long hairs growing out of his ears made him look cute, like a puppy. My husband said he looked like a nice person, he had smiling eyes, the perfect eyes for a restauranteur

Apron strings

A few weeks ago I wondered how many miles it was to the snow, as I sat here shivering and smelling it on the breeze. My daughter will have arrived there now, after 1600 miles on the bus. She has never been this far away from me before, I feel the stretch of the apron strings like an uncomfortable muscle strain. I sleep fitfully worrying about her and the worst scenarios play out in my dreams. I want to laugh at myself for my silly fretting but I realise I have to let her go, it will be more comfortable for both of us.